December third is the day
The girl was born who loved the smell of winter hay
She is the girl with the shiny hair
That captured my heart when we met through the fall air
Today I am hopelessly in love
All because God sent her here from his home above
I wrote this poem many years ago in celebration of the day Pamela Joy was born. Today she is spending her second earthly birthday in her new home of heaven. She is in the place that she longed to be as her body failed more and more. I don’t know if she will think about the significance of this earthly day there in heaven, but I will.
“Hopelessly in love”
It’s funny – weird how we use words. To describe the way that I loved Pam in the poem, I used a common cliche, but love cannot ever be describe as hopeless. Love is the most hopeful thing in all of the universe. It was Pam’s love that spoke her last words of life and hope to me. It was from loving hope that I spoke my last words to her. All of our last words were filled with, and centered on love.
“Love never gives up – Love never loses faith – Love is always hopeful“
Pam was insistent on a few things as we discussed life apart which we somehow knew would one day take place. She told me what she wanted for me, if the day came that I was left here without her. I told her the same, but she always knew somehow it would be me here. So, she described in detail what she wanted me to do. What did she tell me to do? Love.
Everything she said was about love for me and love for others. It was not surprising to me, Pam spread love everywhere she went, but I did not want to think about the day, so I let her words roll by. Then she stopped and said, “Promise me you will do what I said!” I promised and moved on.
Promises are not always easy to keep
Last fall, I felt love. It was in one of two forms. Either a stabbing pain from losing Pam, or the love for my children who were trying to take care of me in my grief. Yet as time passed, I slowly found the ability to return to who I am, and who she wanted me to be. It was a long hard road, but the road has smoothed now. I am able to love, as she asked, again.
Hopeful in love
I have found 1 Corinthians 13:7 is true both by faith and experience. Love never fails! I love Pam and will always love her. That will not change. Yet, my love for others has grown and will continue to grow. Why? How? Because God is Love and He was the source of Pam’s Love. He is our source also, if we let Him.